by Cremation Association
Each year on Memorial Day in the United States and Remembrance
Day in Canada, thousands of individuals travel to local
cemeteries and memorial parks to pay their respects to departed
family members and friends. This once-a-year event, originally
established to honor our war dead, signals the time for taking
plants to gravesites, placing flowers in columbarium vases, and
meditating in churches and chapels.
Visits to final resting places, however, are not limited to just
this one day. Throughout the year people remember those who are
no longer with them by going to the areas where special
memorials have been established. Remembering those who have died
is not a modern-day phenomenon. Thousands of years ago when the
funeral pyre and the "sacred flame" were used,
survivors fashioned beautiful urns to hold the cherished remains
from what they termed the "purifying fire." Today,
cremation has advanced from the crude funeral pyre to modem
scientific methods. It is only in the handling of those
"cherished remains" that we link up with the past. We
recognize as did those long-ago individuals the importance of
memorialization.
Those who say whether in jest or serious "Just cremate me
and throw me out!" do not realize the burden this places on
family members. Direct disposal of cremated remains without
funerals or memorialization of any kind can cause serious
traumatic problems for survivors. An executive of the Forum for
Death Education tells of one patient under therapy as a result
of scattering the cremated remains of a loved one. She had no
focal point for her grief until he suggested that she obtain a
niche at a local mausoleum and place some memento of the loved
one within.
In day-to-day contact with bereaved families, many cemeterians
have noticed signs of severe emotional stress among the
survivors in instances of cremation without memorialization and
without funerals. In some cases, such problems may take the form
of delayed reaction many months later and are more apt to come
to the attention of the medical community or clinical
psychologists than to the layman or to the general public.
Many psychiatrists feel that the funeral serves a very real need
for the survivors. One of them stated that the primary purpose
of the funeral is to fulfill the need for grieving for the
living and that this need goes unfulfilled for many in our
culture. The result, in many cases, is that months or years
later, people require psychiatric treatment for severe
depression. In suffering a loss, the traditional rites of
passage and memorialization can be beneficial in helping
individuals pass through the stages of grief.
When the practice of cremation is accomplished with human
dignity and recognition, it will :
• help assuage grief
• alleviate guilt
• contribute to emotional stability
• create peace of mind
Worldwide, cremation has rapidly expanded. Since 1973, the
number of cremations in North America has more than tripled.
Countries such as Japan (97%), the Great Britain (70%) and
Scandinavia (over 65%) continue to show a high percentage of
cremations.
It is predicated that by the year 2010, cremations in the U.S.
will be close to 40%. Many well-known Americans have selected
cremation following their deaths, and are memorialized in
prominent U.S. cemeteries. They include statesman, prominent
military persons, as well as many from the field of sports and
entertainment.
Nowadays you have a wide choice on where to place cremated
remains. You may select a niche in a columbarium with space for
one, two or even an entire family. You may choose interment in a
single burial site, an urn garden or family plot. You may prefer
scattering in a specially prepared garden within cemetery
grounds, with or without a marker. You may even select a
personal type of memoralization such as a tree, rose bush or
other type of perennial to plant in a special area. Whatever
your decision, you will have created a lasting memorial that
will serve as a focal point not only for present-day survivors,
but,.also future generations. This is cremation with dignity!
