20 Quick Tips to Help With Grief

From Michele Baskin-Jones

The loss of a loved one can totally change your life. Get some quick tips to help with the grieving process here.

1. Talk with a family member, friend, someone in your religious community, or an "online friend" about your feelings. Sometimes the best way to work through grief is to just talk about it.
2. Write a letter to your lost loved one. Tell them how you feel and how their loss has affected you. Ask forgiveness for any trespasses, give forgiveness to them and say goodbye.
3. Plant a lasting memorial in your loved one's honor. Watching a tree or perennial plant grow bigger year after year gives you something to remember you’re loved one by each time you go outside, and it can last generations.
4. Make a photo album honoring your loved one. Put all of your pictures together for a memory book that you can view when you miss them.
5. Join a support group to talk and share with others that are going through a similar time. You will get help and will also feel better knowing you've helped someone else.
6. Support a cause that was close to your loved one. Participate in a breast cancer walk, help with a child diabetes fundraiser, participate in a program that raises awareness like MADD or make a financial donation to a charity or cause that your loved one cared about. Did they love animals or the environment? There are tons of charities that will make your donation in your loved one's name.
7. Read a self-help or spiritual book on grieving. There is a list of great books.
8. Start a hobby. Learn to knit, play an instrument, dance or other hobby. It will help get your mind off things when you concentrate on other things.
9. Take a class. Learn something new while easing your grief. There are plenty of classes at your local college or community center that may interest you. You can take almost anything online too - from foreign languages to computer classes and everything in between.
10. Explore your spiritual or religious side. If you used to go to a church or synagogue and attend no longer, this may be a good time to go back. Spiritual growth can help the situation immensely.
11. If you feel angry or betrayed, express your anger. Exercise, take up karate, write in a journal or otherwise facilitate a healthy release for your anger. Anger after a loss is very normal and will subside with time.
12. Donate some or all of your loved one's belongings to charity. It can help knowing that someone else will benefit from your loss.
13. Start a project that will take some time to finish. Put your energy into something like a do-it-yourself project or tackle a book you've wanted to read. It will help to occupy your free time. This is usually when we miss our loved ones most.
14. Help others that are less fortunate to gain perspective on things. A day in a soup kitchen, homeless shelter, nursing home or orphanage can really make you feel lucky for all that you do have. It will also give you an opportunity to help someone that may need you more than you need them.
15. Don't be afraid to ask for help. If you are feeling especially blue it is fine to ask for some time off work, extra help at home or an ear to listen to you. Explain that you are hurting and you need help. People will respond better than you might think.
16. Adopt a pet. There a millions of dogs and cats in shelters and city pounds put to death every year because nobody wants them. Consider honoring a life by saving a life. Having a pet to love, bond with and spend time with is one of the best cures for grief there is and an excellent cure for loneliness. However, do not get a pet if you are incapable of caring for it or unable to keep them in the long run. Pets for strong bonds to their owners and suffer emotional distress when they are neglected, given away, abused or tossed aside.
17. Make a list of all of the positive ways your loved one impacted your life or the world. Remember their accomplishments, contributions and strengths.
18. Adopt a child through a program like Christian Children's Fund or another program where you make a monthly contribution to help feed, clothe and educate a child that has no hope. Other programs are in place that help pay airfare to lift families out of war-torn areas.
19. Visit your loved ones grave. You can tidy their grave site and plant or leave flowers or other items. Talk to them and tell them how you feel. It is ok to cry.
20. Visit a counselor. There are many counselors that specialize in grief, child loss, trauma or helping survivors of murder. If you are having a difficult time, a few sessions with a counselor can really help get you on the path to recovery.

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